Uncertainty

I think one of the scariest and most beautiful things in life is how uncertain the future can be. One phone call, one accident, one diagnosis, can change the trajectory of your life forever. For a long time, I used to deem uncertainty in a negative light. The notion that the future isn’t already mapped out for us was daunting to me. It just didn’t sit right within. I guess it’s because for most of my life, everything was mapped out. I would do well in school and soccer to get me to college, and then get a job and start my life. And honestly, that’s pretty much how life has gone to this point. 

But as I sit here in my last term of grad school, I don’t have the slightest idea where I will be in 4 months. I don’t even know where I will be in the next month. And to be honest, it terrifies me. For the first time in my life, there isn’t a next step I’m “supposed” to take. 

I look around at friends I graduated undergrad with working and living on their own. Or others who are fully in their career. Even some people started families (my dating life is a whole different topic). Regardless, all of these people seem to have a direction in life. And not to say that I don’t. I just don’t know which way life is taking me. 

I was on social media the other day and I stumbled on the Bible verse Jeremiah 29:11. It reads, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Talk about hearing something at the perfect time. 

I don’t often talk about how uncertainty in the future makes me feel. It just isn’t something I want to make public knowledge. But I think there is strength in confronting our fears and insecurities. 

I want to face the uncertainties and gray areas in life with unwavering faith because I know God has got me. 

Easier said than done but, in time, I’ll get it down. 

So, why did I write this today? Honestly, I think I needed to encourage myself a little bit. And in doing so, I hope someone else reads this and can find some comfort. It’s been a crazy 365 days and, in these times, it’s tough to think about the future when life isn’t how we all envisioned. But I’m here to encourage you and tell you there is a bigger plan. Don’t worry. Don’t trip. It’s all going to work out. Continue to wake up and choose joy and speaking positively to yourself everyday. Because no one can steal that from you.