Single on Purpose

I swear this is not a rant about why you should be single. It’s not even a post about dating.

This is about the journey to self-discovery.

And why it’s just that. A journey.

When I was was growing up, all I knew was sports. Outside of school and church, the only other places I went were practice and games.

Whether the ball was going into a goal or a hoop it didn’t matter. I felt I knew who I was because of my sport. But that all changed one day.

I remember when I arrived at Oregon State my freshman year for soccer. I went from being a very big fish in a little pond, to a very small fish in the ocean. Or at least that’s what it felt like.

For the first time ever, I felt unsure of myself. Not just on the field, but everywhere. I realized that my identity was so wrapped up in my sport, I hadn’t taken the time to discover who Caleb was.

So for the next two years, I pushed myself to find that person. I took interesting courses. One of my favorites was the human sexuality course. 10/10 would recommend. Joined clubs. Eventually a fraternity. Tried new hobbies. I even became a DJ at the end of my freshman year.

This is the point where people will usually tell you that through all of these things they found themselves. Which is true in many instances. Just not mine.

I didn’t find myself at 20 years old after spending two years looking within. I believe it takes years to truly find and know ourselves. But what I did do is start the journey. I took steps in the right direction.

Even now at 23, I don’t know exactly who I am. But I have much more of a sense than I did 3 years ago. Shoot, I know who I am more today than 2 weeks ago.

My point is we are constantly evolving, complex beings. The journey to self discovery is just that. A journey. Not a destination.

I was reading a book recently called, “Single On Purpose” and he had a quote that really stuck with me.

“The pot of gold is never at the end of the rainbow. It’s sprinkled throughout the journey. But if you’re too focused on your destination, you’ll miss what you find along the way.”

So if you haven’t already, start figuring out who you are. Don’t feel bad if you haven’t already. We all start at different times. And please, enjoy the journey.

Because that’s where the magic is.